Saturday, January 31, 2009

FBR Open = World’s Largest Beer Garden

The editors here at IB18 are mounting their collective steed and holding sabers aloft, pointing the tips at every last un-knowledgeable poser golf fan that disgraced the TPC of Scottsdale with their presence.

That means you, dual-popped collar, backwards hat-wearing, iPod dangling from ears douchebag. It also means you, silicon-based chest, collagen lipped, cosmopolitan swilling, half-porn star/half soccer mom airhead with an identity crisis. And you too, you beer drinking, funny-man in their own head, non-SPF wearing Redneck.

Yes, we are angry. And for NO good reason, too.

For these are the people that the The Thunderbirds (organizer of the FBR) caters to with the Bird’s Nest, the 16th hole and every last corporate sponsorship tent that doles out grub and grog. And most importantly, this is why the Open has remained a fan favorite on the PGA Tour. It’s ultimately a win-win for both Promoter and Golf fans.

And for this, our negative rant against those who don’t know what ‘par’ or ‘bunker’ means, is debatable.

However, if it were up to IB18, every last ticket holder would need to take a golf quiz to enter the course grounds and then another quiz to get a bracelet for booze. The punishment for answering a question wrong on either quiz would be a ride home from the Maricopa County cops and house arrest for 5 years only during the week of the FBR Open.

Bottom line… If you don’t know s**t about golf. Stay at home and try to learn something. Don’t contaminate the game we have grown to love with your ignorance. Otherwise, you’re simply Chicago Cub fans trying out their drinking skills at a different venue.

That is nothing to be proud of.

1 Comentário:

Anonymous said...

you might be right that the FBR isn't Augusta or St. Andrews but I know that that from a spectator's point of view this is much more fun. If you can't hit a green from 123 as a pro golfer you deserve to be boo'd :) - Morris

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